I've heard this a time or two... or six or seven. I've finally decided it's so insane, I could probably make a funny blog about it. Here goes. First, Nanc, our beautifully botoxed buxom babe in power of the house says that for every dollar of food stamps used, the economy is lifted by $1.79. Fantastic. The USDA or whatever ridiculous acronym is in charge estimates the value at $1.84. Great. Why don't we issue food stamps to everyone, especially people who eat a lot. Can you imagine how much boosting would be done by that jackass pot smoking swimmer who eats over 20,000 calories in a day? Maybe that would only work for the non-pot induced delicacies. HoHos and twinkies probably can't be bought with food stamps (who am I kidding, they put baby formula behind locked glass so it can't be used to cut heroin (like that's a deterrent)). But, if everyone were on food stamps, think of the economic revolution on the verge. In no time at all we'd be able to feed all of the starving children in the world. Just present them with the perfect present of food stamps, they'd eat, our economy would thrive. Hell, if it really stimulates, let's give everyone in the world food stamps. Let's offer food stamps to Cuba, Haiti, The Dominican, Vietnam, China, yes China, think how much stimulation there'd be with over a billion recipients of food stamps. Where do these people get these ideas? I do however know, for a fact, that food stamps, if given out in a great enough number, would stimulate something. Eventually, since we're LOSING money on food stamps, our dollar would be worthless, our economy would sink to never before heard of Marianas Trench levels and our population would grow muscle toting wheel barrows and truckloads of paper currency to the market to buy a loaf of bread. And, if these estimates are indeed true, let's stop producing the dollar and use instead, yep, food stamps. China would probably buy our debt even faster, they'd be able to feed their country easier (assuming the Communists actually want their entire population to eat). I'm all for people eating. It's cool. Eating allows us to maintain our health, and our PRODUCTIVITY. As far as I'm concerned, if you are productive and eating, you don't get food stamps. I'm productive (marginally), and I eat, but not with stamps. Perhaps instead of making food stamps for the purchase of food, they could make the food stamps actual food. Include vitamins and minerals and carbs and proteins and fats, everything a body needs, but NO FLAVOR. Well, enough. I'll just get mad and irritate the liberals. Just think Zimbabwe, or post WW1 Germany.
Pelos's fatastic Food Stamps
Laura and Newt