How to get rich (and piss me off) in a litigious society.

I'm sure there's something that someone hasn't thought of yet. Hot coffee, nope, been done. Slippery floor, nope, been done. "Accidental" accident (insurance fraud), nope, been done. These things have been tried, and ridiculously, succeeded. What can I do to make millions of dollars these days? I know, medical malpractice. It's been done before you say. I know I say. But, there is nothing in place to stop it from happening again. Why? We have signs warning us of slippery floors, signs warning us that the hot coffee is, get this, HOT. All of these signs it seems these days come in two flavors, English and Spanish. Sometimes we get German and French. So, after years of driving malpractice insurance through the roof because of malpractice, we still have no control over frivolous lawsuits in the medical and drug fields. Anyone remember Vioxx? I took it. I loved it. I can't understand why I can't have pain relief because someone with a heart condition that I don't have died from Vioxx. So, instead, I live with pain that isn't necessary. Thanks everyone in this wonderful litigious society. So, if you're looking to get rich the easy way, just have as many surgeries as you possibly can in the shortest amount of time. Better yet, schedule eight surgeries at the same time, chances are one of the surgeons will forget something somewhere and you'll wake up setting off metal detectors. Even better, maybe they'll leave something soft inside you (less irritating) and you can get an unprecedented sum of moolah. If anyone succeeds in doing this, please let me know how to get the appointments for the doctors\surgeons, because I can't even seem to get an appointment. Once, recently, I had a scheduled appointment for almost four months out, and halfway there the office called and canceled it. It seems the doctor they had slated to see me didn't even work there yet and wouldn't be there for yet another month. My entire family goes to the doctor and doesn't see a doctor. We see Physician's Assistants. I'm not saying that they aren't knowledgeable or able, I'm just saying that we pay the same amount as if we were seeing a doctor. And, we can't get appointments. With that said, how will Obamacare help with these situations? I can't imagine it will. I fully expect more delays in care, less options and longer lines. Ask anyone from a country where socialized utopian medicine already exists. At this point, I'd probably be happy paying my medical bills from my wallet rather than through an insurance. Insurance companies seem to mess things up. Wait, it's the litigious society that messes things up. Remember how doctors came to the house in old movies? Maybe if the doctors started doing that again, they could turn the tables on the litigious society by "accidentally" falling on the stairs and suing the patient. That would be righteous. Stay tuned for an important announcement from my sponsor Commiecare (the Health Care that does you dead).

J-

Cheers...

Here's to our government finally taking action we've all been waiting for. I'm glad my tax dollars are hard at work. Government oversight is a good thing. More would be even better. I'm tired of corporations making money because of my stupidity, or rather "our collective" stupidity. It's about time big brother took a stance and "done showed" us what was right and what was wrong. I mean, who knew I might be purchasing a drug? Who knew that for the last hundred years people have been feeding drugs to their toddlers? Thank you big brother. Now I know. Stop eating cheerios people. STOP!!!!!!!! They may contain a drug (whole grain oats). Please stop now before you find yourself stuck in a self deprecating cycle. Whole grain oats are a gateway drug people. Next its metamucil. One day you'll find yourself in the gutter fighting pigeons for the grit on the side of the road. Please stop now. If Mr. Obama has his way, we may find ourselves buying our cereal grains on street corners in the middle of the night on hooker infested boulevards of major cities. It's also possible, those of us who have money (which will become fewer with every day of Obamanomics) will go to the GP begging for scripts for Cheerios. What do you suppose the markup will be for whole grain oats? I imagine that general mills will soon be in a position to sell the cheerio label to Pfizer. Don't we have anything better to do? Doesn't our government have anything more productive to worry about? We've got: terror, war and an economy on the verge of a collapse of "roman" proportions and they spend time worrying about steroids in baseball, sign stealing in football, and whole grain oats in cereal. Sighs. I can't take it anymore. I think I'll just barricade myself in a cave with guns and ammo and live on the bugs and other critters I can catch. I suppose my children will then be at least as antisocial as a "homeschooler", but I'm now not sure who I want them to socialize with these days anyway. Cheerio, Happy hunting.