Friday, July 30, 2010

How to get rich (and piss me off) in a litigious society.

I'm sure there's something that someone hasn't thought of yet. Hot coffee, nope, been done. Slippery floor, nope, been done. "Accidental" accident (insurance fraud), nope, been done. These things have been tried, and ridiculously, succeeded. What can I do to make millions of dollars these days? I know, medical malpractice. It's been done before you say. I know I say. But, there is nothing in place to stop it from happening again. Why? We have signs warning us of slippery floors, signs warning us that the hot coffee is, get this, HOT. All of these signs it seems these days come in two flavors, English and Spanish. Sometimes we get German and French. So, after years of driving malpractice insurance through the roof because of malpractice, we still have no control over frivolous lawsuits in the medical and drug fields. Anyone remember Vioxx? I took it. I loved it. I can't understand why I can't have pain relief because someone with a heart condition that I don't have died from Vioxx. So, instead, I live with pain that isn't necessary. Thanks everyone in this wonderful litigious society. So, if you're looking to get rich the easy way, just have as many surgeries as you possibly can in the shortest amount of time. Better yet, schedule eight surgeries at the same time, chances are one of the surgeons will forget something somewhere and you'll wake up setting off metal detectors. Even better, maybe they'll leave something soft inside you (less irritating) and you can get an unprecedented sum of moolah. If anyone succeeds in doing this, please let me know how to get the appointments for the doctors\surgeons, because I can't even seem to get an appointment. Once, recently, I had a scheduled appointment for almost four months out, and halfway there the office called and canceled it. It seems the doctor they had slated to see me didn't even work there yet and wouldn't be there for yet another month. My entire family goes to the doctor and doesn't see a doctor. We see Physician's Assistants. I'm not saying that they aren't knowledgeable or able, I'm just saying that we pay the same amount as if we were seeing a doctor. And, we can't get appointments. With that said, how will Obamacare help with these situations? I can't imagine it will. I fully expect more delays in care, less options and longer lines. Ask anyone from a country where socialized utopian medicine already exists. At this point, I'd probably be happy paying my medical bills from my wallet rather than through an insurance. Insurance companies seem to mess things up. Wait, it's the litigious society that messes things up. Remember how doctors came to the house in old movies? Maybe if the doctors started doing that again, they could turn the tables on the litigious society by "accidentally" falling on the stairs and suing the patient. That would be righteous. Stay tuned for an important announcement from my sponsor Commiecare (the Health Care that does you dead).


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